Who would Jesus landscape?
There they go again. You know it one thing to say that gays are evil sinners undeserving of the right to marry. It is an absurd belief out of the Dark Ages but no where on the same level as people saying we despise homosexuals so much we refuse to even have dealings with someone who is gay. And don’t get me wrong. Bigots have the right to stay away from the people they hate provided they don’t use force against someone else. I defend the right of assholes to be assholes. And I defend the right to call them assholes too.
We go back down to the Theocratic Republic of Texas once again. (I am starting to think that the water down there contains something that lobotomizes people. Of course the Bible has a unique ability to cut off the rational faculties as well.) In Houston we have a garden service called “Garden Guy” that is “guy” not “gay” please note.
Michael Lord and Gary Lackey are a gay couple and they sent out requests for landscaping bids on their home. Well, Garden Guy is owned by “Christians” and they sent back an email saying they would not quote on the job or even look at the property, “we cannot meet with you because we choose not to work for homosexuals.” The typical Christian, loving, what-would-Jesus-do-if-were-a-gardner sort of thing.
Lord and Lackey told friends of this incredible response over a landscaping job and the word spread from there. Some people stupidly sent messages as hateful as the one the Christians typically send. Others merely expressed dismay at this sort of bigotry. And the Jesus addicts out there applauded and lauded them.
The owners say they have been flooded by messages from Christians cheering them on. And the silly woman who started the ruckus says: “We’ve become accidentally crusaders for Christ.” Really? Exactly which verse was it that said: “Thou shalt not landscape for homosexuals.” I missed that one. In fact it didn’t even come up at Bible college.
Now you might think it says homosexuals are dogs worthy of death -- that is a favorite theme of many Christianists. But no where does it say that if you own a landscaping business you are forbidden to do work for homosexuals.
Of course up to a few weeks ago the couple would have been thrilled to landscape for Ted Haggard. Apparently the good moral Christians also portrayed themselves as members of the Association of Professional Landscape Designers (who knew they existed). But the Association says they are misrepresenting themselves (thou shalt not lie) as they are not current members at all. And the Association says their “conduct does not conform to the policy and practice of the APLD.”
In fact I’d like to see more Christianists follow a policy similar to this. I think every born-again Jesus addict ought to refuse to allow fire-fighters to put out a fire on their property until they have written assurances from each and every member of the team that they are god-fearing heterosexuals. And to prove their faith in Jesus they should sit right there in side of the house until that happens. If Jehovah could protect Daniel in the furnace he can protect these accidental warriors for Jesus.
And before they dial 911 for help they need to know that the person taking the call is not gay and that no gay police members service on the police force. You sure as hell don’t want some homosexual with a gun coming around to your good Christian home. And hospitals! Don’t forget the hospitals. A good Christian who wants nothing to do with ______ (fill in the blank with whichever group God hates today) should be making sure that they don’t seek medical care with such people.
It is time these Christianists really separate themselves from evil. They should not buy from any store that will not give them a 100% guarantee of heterosexuality among their employees. No bisexuals either. Bisexuals are just people who sin with both sexes!
They should not even attend churches without absolute assurance that no homosexuals are there. In fact they better check out those kids lest any of them be budding pre-homosexuals. They should not buy electricity from producers who hire homosexuals, purchase water from companies that might employ such sinners, or drive in cars that might have had a homosexual involved in the design, production, distribution or sale of the vehicle. And while they're at it they better toss out that King James Bible -- apparently the King was a queen. He was buried with both his main male lovers. In fact the one is the only non-royalty buried there.
In the name of Christ they ought to cut themselves off from anything and everything that has anything whatsoever to do with gay men or women. They might have trouble finding employment and admittedly they couldn’t drive, fly, take a train, a bus or even walk (sidewalk could have been built by a company that hires gays) anywhere. They’d need to grow their own food (and hopefully it would rain since the water supply could be tainted by gay labor). They have to grow cotton and weave their own cloth for clothes. They’d be no entertainment but they can read the good book for enjoyment but only during day light).
Maybe they should just moved into a cave and hunt animals. Back to the stone age ought to be their motto. It describes their mentality and it describes where they would be in they consistently tried to implement this policy.
I do like the views of Ray Hill, a former evangelical Baptist (smart man) who said: “The Garden Guy isn’t the only landscape company in the Yellow Pages.” Amen, brother, amen.
And for those of you who still fantasize that the illusion of socialism works please note. Marriage is a government monopoly. Notice how almost universally gays get screwed on that. Why? Because there is no competition. But what effect can the bigots at Garden Guy really have on homosexuals? Very, very little. All they do is increase the business for their competitors.
Competition is great. Monopoly services are not regardless of who runs them. And government is the biggest monopoly of them all with all the defects one would expect.
And one last thought on these silly people. What would have happened if these accidental Jesus warriors had gone into a store and been told “We’re sorry we don’t serve Christians”? I suggest that the Christians would be in an uproar. There would be no talk about how a small business ought to have the right to choose it’s clientele. They would be weeping and gnashing teeth lamenting the awful treatment that they were receiving.
Now you know I think Jesus said a lot of things that were nonsense, provided the gospels quote him accurately. But for the life of me I don’t remember anything he said that could remotely be interpreted to justify this sort of stupidity.