eBay caves to Jihadists for Jesus
The cowards who run eBay have caved in to the whinning, hysterical rantings of fundamentalist lunatics.
We all remember the meth-buying, gay sexcapade of Rev. Ted Haggard, a leading light of American fundamentalism. Haggard got caught with his pants down, around his ankles. He was hiring the services of a male escourt on a regular basis. That escort, Mike Jones, exposed Haggard.
Jones has changed careers. And he decided to put the massage table used during theirentertainment sessions on sale on eBay and said that he planned to give all money raised by the sale to Project Angel Heart which provides care to people with cancer and AIDS. A rather charitable deed you would think. And since it symbolizes a new career as well you would assume the fundamentalist hate mongers would applaud the action. It was virtuous two different ways.
Of course not. The rabid fundamentalist is driven by hatred. One of their professional little minded bigots, Karen Booth, posted a message on one of the gay-hating web sites run by these groups -- one that promises to cure people of being gay through prayer and Jesus. Didn’t help Ted much did it, Karen?
She said that the sale of the table on eBay “is reprehensible”. And she posted the fax number for eBay telling the brainless fundamentalist masses to inundate the company with protests because the y are offended by the table. What bloody hypocrites. Remember how these whinning assholes were shreiking about Muslims offended by cartoons of their fake prophet. Now they are offended by a table!
In her jihad Ms. Booth said that the table is “highly offensive to Christians, particularly conservative evangelicals.” She demanded the auction be cancelled and the gutless cowards at eBay caved in. Death to infidels! Jihad! Jihad!
Booth, in obviously violation of Biblical standards, calls herself a Reverend -- notice that none of the disciples were women -- something the Catholics notice. I must guess that she doesn’t think that gluttony is a sin. The teaching that the body is the temple of God so inspired her that she obviously made room for all three members of the Trinity. She’s worried about someone selling a table and threatening Jihad over it when she ought to be dieting instead. She wanted to be a big figure in the anti-gay movement and it looks like she succeeded.
Now she is offended by the sale of the table! What a cow. What about the meth buying antics of Haggard? She threatened the company: “I have put an alert on my ministry’s national website and have also informed other national Christian ministries, including the American Family Association. (The auction is also being discussed on several Internet blogs.) If the offensive listing is not removed, I will encourage my supporters to boycott eBay, which I also intend to do.”
Rev. Booth called out the American Taliban over a table! This is the sort of petty-minded, hate-inspired antics that alleged Christians get involved with. And they wonder why the number of young people who say they are atheists has doubled in recent years. If I were a Christian (and I got cured of that disease long ago) I would be offended by the clownish antics of these sexual Klanners and their lynch mobs threatening everyone and anyone who dares offend them. Me, I’m glad their around, they are walking testimonials for rejecting the lunancy of religion. Theology is a mind altering drug. It turns people into raving lunatics. Thanks, Rev. Booth. I was thinking we’d go a whole week without some fundamentalist preacher once again proving how absurd they and their god can be.
I am disappointed to learn that the head of eBay is a big fund raiser for Theopublicans like Mitt Romney. Very disappointed, I’ve bought and sold thousands of dollars worth of merchandise on their site. Anyone know if there is a competitor out there? Perhaps it’s time to move the business elsewhere.
Bidding on the table had reached almost $1,300 when eBay caved in to the Jihad. Jones said that the fundamentalists may have tried to do this to hurt him but he wasn't going to make any money off the deal. He notes all these "loving Christians" did was hurt a charity helping dying people! Ah, the love of God manifested again. Meanwhile it should be noted that Rev. Booth, bright spark that she is, just gave Jones lots of free publicity for upcoming book on his affair with Haggard. Smart move! But Booth isn't the stupidest one in this sad tale. Obviously eBay is even dumber. A few thousand Jihadists for Jesus knew about the auction before and were upset now millions of people will be shocked at how eBay caved in to religious extremism. And I'm serious about asking if people know an alternative site, I'll promote it.
Hey Trey and Matt: Here is a great episode for South Park. You can even use the Michael Moore doll from your movie, just slap Booth's face on the body. You don't even have to change the script. The large Jihadists still screams: "Jihad, jihad!" All you have to do is stick a massage table in the background. You can even have Haggard on it in a black nightie with a come-hither look. It's a perfect episode.